Is GOP lineup a viral marketing ploy?

Viral marketing has become the norm — it’s simply expected now. Nearly every TV show has some vague billboard and a web address, giving viewers the chance to get in on “the secret”. Lost was promoted with ads for the fictional airline that deposited the hapless cast on the island. (Why it wasn’t named “Minnow Air”, I don’t know.) More recently, Warner Brothers took it literally with some bacterial marketing for Contagion.

It’s so common, that whenever something out of the ordinary occurs, the assumption is “viral marketing”. The earth is humming in Windsor, Ontario; is it viral marketing for Cloverfield 2? I don’t know about that, but the current GOP lineup . . . Gotta be an ad campaign. But for what?

For weeks, I’ve been puzzling over this. It’s a great campaign! It has all the elements we expect from viral advertising — confusing, obscure references (like Bachmann’s comments on American “history”), conspiracies (Perry’s role in the liberal-Big Pharma-eugenicist conspiracy to induce promiscuity via the HPV vaccine, leading to more abortions, lining the pockets of Planned Parenthood’s $30K/year social workers), and more. Everybody’s talking about it!

Is this gaggle of goofballs a promotion for a new season of Jackass? Maybe they are the cast of Survivor: GOP?

Today, it came to me. And it will be coming to you. In 2012. Coincidence? I think not.

Yes, I also noticed that the “2012″ is from the 2012 trailer, and all the scenes are from the original movie. That’s part of the plot — making it look like fans made it up. But it’s for real! Think I jest about the cast? Consider this evidence, a pre-debate promotional photo:

Where is Cain, you ask? The former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza is represented by the pies, of course. (Truth be told, he’s a minor character.)

What of Jon Huntsman? If you’ve been following the debates, you know that he’s the misfit. He’s by far the most rational candidate. That’s why he’s presently polling at 1%; our reality-tv-obsessed, viral-marketed society has no use for a candidate who isn’t rolling in the sewer.

So will Huntsman be left out? Of course not. He’ll be among the first to find his way into a cotton candy cocoon! The Klowns will eat him alive.