Garrison Keillor Gets Into Christmas Spirit with Anti-Semitic Tirade

Fans of “A Prairie Home Companion” and the “Lake Wobegon” books from National Public Radio’s favorite non-political humorist may have been shocked by his Sunday syndicated column, “Nonbelievers, Please Leave Christmas Alone”. Keillor plants his feet firmly on the side of the religious right in the supposed “War on Christmas”, ripping Jews, Unitarians, and anyone who celebrates secular Christmas.

Christmas is a Christian holiday — if you’re not in the club, then buzz off. – Garrison Keillor

The article starts off as an attack on White House National Economic Council chief Lawrence Summers. Here, Keillor stands on pretty firm ground. As Wikipedia notes:

Summers resigned as Harvard’s president in the wake of a no-confidence vote by Harvard faculty that resulted in part from Summers’ conflict with Cornel West, conflict of interest questions regarding his relationship with Andrei Shleifer, and a 2005 speech in which he suggested that the under-representation of women in the top levels of academia is due to a “different availability of aptitude at the high end.” Summers has also been criticized by some liberals for the economic policies he advocated as Treasury Secretary and in later writings.[3] Since returning to government in the Obama administration, he has come under fire for his numerous financial ties to Wall Street.

Fair enough. But then, in a bizarre twist reminiscent of Mel Gibson’s unexpected shift in tactic from, “No, officer, I haven’t been drinking” to “Jews are the cause of all wars in the world”, Keillor turns to an assault on Unitarians, then Jews, then all non-Christians who dare to speak the words, “Merry Christmas”:

You can blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite. He preached here at the First Church of Cambridge, a Unitarian outfit (where I discovered that “Silent Night” has been cleverly rewritten to make it more about silence and night and not so much about God) . . . Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that’s their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite “Silent Night.” If you don’t believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn “Silent Night” and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write “Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah”? No, we didn’t.

Keillor then adds fuel to the fire he’s ignited, insisting that Christmas is only for Christians.

Christmas is a Christian holiday — if you’re not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don’t mess with the Messiah. (Emphasis added.)

Of course, if you’re shocked by Keillor’s commentary — other than how bizarrely it veers off topic — you haven’t been keeping up with his rants. Here’s part of his commentary on same-sex marriage, a matter which he both insults and trivializes.

From 2005:

I favor marriage between people whose body parts are not similar. I’m sorry, but same-sex marriage seems timid, an attempt to save on wardrobe and accessories. Marrying somebody from your team. Still, it’s probably good for them to have to fight for the right to marry. My parents eloped against strong opposition from both families and they were in love for the rest of their lives and held hands and were tender on into their 80s. Of course they always had fresh strawberries.

We’ve added “buzz off” to our Christian Quotes page!

Related articles:

1. Minnesota GOP’s would-be Governor: Anti-gay, anti-Semitic group “good people”
2. Is Glenn Beck an anti-Semitic Jew-loving Nazi? Or is that part of "The Plan"?
3. Who Would Jesus Boycott? Christians to Bully GAP, Old Navy into Celebrating Christmas
4. GAP Caves to Fundamentalist "Christmas" Demands
5. Barton Threatens Defamation Lawsuits Over Allegations He Spoke To Anti-Semitic Groups

Jenny Donati is webmistress and co-editor of Secular News Daily. Jenny is an outspoken secularist who believes firmly in the separation of church and state. She demands evidence to support arguments, and holds herself to the same standard. She doesn't write about herself in the third person . . . but there's a first time for everything.

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