Brownback Leads Congressional Battle Against . . . Mermaids?

Senator Sam Brownback has led the charge to protect us from that most deadly of potential Mad Scientist creations, Mermaids, with the Anti-Doctor Moreau Act of 2009. Oh, he’s fighting Minotaurs, too.

That visionary Brownback, along with other level-headed science illuminaries in the Senate, have teamed up to bring us the Human-Animal Hybrid Prevention Act of 2009, also known as the Anti-Doctor Moreau Act.

As we recall, Moreau was the title character of H.G. Wells’ science-fiction novel, The Island of Doctor Moreau. He had a hobby of converting animals to humans via vivisection, resulting in humanesque creatures which looked and acted like hybrids and were treated as slaves.

In the modern world — a concept generally unfamiliar to folks like Brownback and his bill’s co-sponsors — we have learned that vivisection results in creations like Michael Jackson. The genetic hybridization of humans and animals is not intended to lead to horrific monsters, like mermaids and minotaurs, or slave classes — hardly needed in an overpopulated planet with a high unemployment rate.

Instead, hybrids are created for either scientific research, or for medical purposes:

Brownback is taking aim at laboratory experiments by scientists known as Chimeras, genetically engineered creatures that have DNA of more than one species. In some instances, scientists overseas have fused human DNA with that of rabbits, sheep, cows and mice, while the Mayo Clinic created pigs with human blood and Stanford researchers placed human brain cells into mice to study treatments for neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease. The point of the experiments is to expand the availability of human organs, stem cells or hormones for medical purposes or to have human-like lab specimens for disease research.

Some suggest that another depraved target of this bill is insulin.

Humulin is the brand name for a group of human insulin products, originally developed by Genentech in 1978 . . . synthesized in a laboratory strain of E. coli bacteria which has been genetically altered to produce human insulin.

However, a close read of the legislation suggests this is not the case. Genetic manipulation of a bacterium to include some human genetic material does not a human-animal hybrid make.

No, Brownback is most certainly targeting Mermaids.

The following visionaries are orginal co-sponsors: Senators Sam Brownback (R-KS), Mary Landrieu (D-LA), Jim Bunning (R-KY), Richard Burr (R-NC), Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), Tom Coburn (R-OK), Bob Corker (R-TN), John Cornyn (R-TX), Jim DeMint (R-SC), John Ensign (R-NV), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), James Inhofe (R-OK), Mike Johanns (R-NE), Jon Kyl (R-AZ), Mel Martinez (R-FL), John McCain (R-AZ), James Risch (R-ID), John Thune (R-SD), David Vitter (R-LA), George Voinovich (R-OH), and Roger Wicker (R-MS

Related articles:

1. Kansas Democratic Party calls on Senator Brownback to denounce Lou Engle, supporter of Ugandan death-to-gays bill
2. The never ending battle
3. Mantyhose: Euro Fashion Leads Americans into Sin
4. Atheist Declares Congressional Run
5. David v. Goliath: Louisiana Student Girds For Battle On Behalf Of Sound Science

Mike Daniels is co-editor of Secular News Daily.

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