Hope on a Rope?

No, it’s not a lynching. It’s a disturbing product from dugshop.com.

Really, it’s bizarre.

When I heard about this product on the Laura Ingraham show, I couldn’t believe it. Yes, you can now shower with the President-elect.

Examine this object. It has a long, penetrating chin and multiple bulbous appendages jutting out at suggestive angles. We all know that hungry, hungry hippos housewives everywhere will be rubbing this ghastly, leering visage slowly down between their dirty pillows, and up against (even into?) their nether regions! Imagine their depraved moans of political persuasion . . . “Ohh, ohh, OHHHBAMA!”

Jesus hurls, and so do I.

The deviants at dugshop.com (product available for purchase HERE for only $20 plus shipping, handling, and your immortal soul) declare that their Obama soap/insertable sex toy is “purple, because we here at dugshop feel that he’s a true uniter, there are no red or blue states, we’re all purple.”

Inside and out, by the time these perverts are done!

The packaging declares it “Soap we can believe in”, and that it is “breath of fresh air” scented. I guess that means it’s unscented?

There’s a lengthy ingredients list, but the package also states that it is “made with 100% love”. Well, which is it? Is it Sodium Hydroxide, and Sorbitol, and highly processed Soy Bean Protein — all the ingredients I think of when I think of an “all-natural” soap product — or is it Love? There’s also the claim of “added Presidential mojo”. Do I really want to know what that is?

No. No, I don’t.

Methinks there is a truth in advertising question here. Is it natural? Is it vegan? Can I really believe in it? Does it bring hope, or merely titillation? Is this the “stimulus package” we keep hearing about?

Obama can just keep this package out of my bath, thank you very much!

Related articles:

1. Glenn Beck's paranoid thriller, "The Overton Window"
2. Living without Religion: CFI launches ad campaign with hope, care, and love
3. Glenn Beck’s The Overton Window: The Movie? Sure
4. Glenn Beck’s The Overton Window: The Movie? Sure
5. The aggregators are coming!

Jenny Donati is webmistress and co-editor of Secular News Daily. Jenny is an outspoken secularist who believes firmly in the separation of church and state. She demands evidence to support arguments, and holds herself to the same standard. She doesn't write about herself in the third person . . . but there's a first time for everything.

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